Brother I'm Sorry
by InsanityRunsInMyBlood
Summary: 'Regulus died with a smile on his face, hoping that his brother would one day understand and forgive him.' Follows canon. Starts in 1979 when Voldemort asks for Kreacher. WARNING: Character Death Rated T cuz I'm paranoid.
1. Rejected

**Rejected**

"Bella, that's quite enough." Voldemort said, smirking sadistically. Bella grinned and stepped back from the Muggle girl.

"Oh god, kill me…" She sobbed.

"My my my…pleading for death?" Voldemort whispered cruelly.

"Please…just kill me…please…" She whimpered. Regulus, unfortunately, was the one she looked up at with those begging eyes, full of pain and anguish. Regulus thanked the heavens that he was wearing a mask, and he closed his eyes, unable to look on. His cousin Bella was cackling gleefully. He swallowed in disgust. Now he could see why Sirius had always hated her.

"Regulus, you can do us the honour of ending her pathetic existence, no?" Voldemort asked. For a moment, the eighteen year-old froze. It has been two years since he was initiated. Sure, he went on raids, taunted the Muggles, hexed them, cursed them, Crucioed them, cut their throats open (and left before they died), but he never killed directly with the Avada before. He swallowed again.

"Of course, milord." He said in a low voice that didn't betray his panic. He stepped forward, not looking the young girl in the eyes. He raised his wand mechanically. He thought about how he would really like to kill the Dark Lord right now, and poured the emotions into the spell.

"Avada Kedavra." He whispered with no real emotion. The green beam of death struck the girl who slumped to the floor, eyes quickly glazing over.

"Well done, Regulus." The Dark Lord praised. "Dismissed." He waved his hand, and the Death Eaters lumbered away slowly, chuckling gleefully. Bellatrix walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned.

"So how was it? Your first killing curse?" She asked a bit harshly. Regulus opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"I…I…" He gasped out. Bella sneered.

"Weak." She spat, before sauntering out. Regulus was left there shocked and dismayed. He was really regretting joining the Death Eaters now. He just didn't have the nerve and necessary evil to kill mercilessly, to torture and _enjoy_ the pain he was causing, unlike his cousin dearest.

Regulus arrived back at Grimmauld Place and trudged up to his room.

"Master is back! Does Master need anything to eat or drink? Perhaps sheperd's pie?" Kreacher asked, taking the Death Eater cloak and mask. Regulus looked sick.

"No, it's alright, Kreacher." He croaked out. Kreacher noticed his condition.

"Is Master feeling alright?" Kreacher asked concernedly.

"I…I killed today, Kreacher." Regulus confessed, keeping the bile down, but just barely, as he thought of the torture and the curses that were used on the poor girl.

"Master killed?" Kreacher's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Yes, Kreacher." Regulus said miserably and shamefully.

"Kreacher doesn't know what to do, Master." Kreacher said nervously.

"Just…" Regulus looked up suddenly. "Can you bring Sirius to me?" He asked. Kreacher looked puzzled.

"Does Master mean Master's no good blood-traitor brother?" He asked.

"Yes." Regulus sighed. "And don't insult him, please." He said. Kreacher bowed before disapparating with a loud crack. Regulus fell onto his bed with a defeated groan. The killing curse was merciful compared to curses such as the Sectumsempra or the Cruciatus Curse, but murdering someone in cold-blood…

"Blasted elf! What do you want, you little bugger?" Regulus heard. He sat up and saw Kreacher drag Sirius into the room. He would have laughed if not for the situation.

"Regulus? What do _you_ want, Death Eater?" Sirius spat, drawing his wand. Regulus was hurt, but he didn't show it.

"Sirius…I can't do this." Regulus started carefully. "He just ordered me to kill an innocent Muggle girl today." Regulus said. "It was my first killing curse." He said, and he could feel the bile rising up again. He rushed to the bathroom and promptly threw up over the toilet. He heaved the remains of his previous meal out and rinsed his mouth. Kreacher followed him in anxiously.

"Is Master going to be alright? Does Kreacher need to bring any Potions for Master?" Kreacher asked. Regulus shook his head and made his way back into the room shakily. Sirius was still standing, arms folded, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Look, I know you hate everything that has to do with Death Eaters and the Dark Lord…" Regulus said.

"Too right." Sirius spat. Regulus winced. He looked up to Sirius as an idol, and wanted his older brother to be proud of him, but that was impossible now.

"I want out, but I don't know if it's a good idea." Regulus said bluntly. Sirius was taken aback.

"Of course it's a good idea, but how do I know that this isn't a trick?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"I killed, Sirius! I'm not built for this kind of thing!" Regulus was close to having a nervous breakdown.

"Then why did you join in the first place?" Sirius sneered.

"Mum and Dad—" Regulus started.

"You could have run away like I did!" Sirius snarled, pacing. "I told you! I told you what would happen!" He shouted. Regulus cringed.

"Please, brother. Try to understand. I was under a lot of pressure after you ran away." Regulus said. "Can you help me—" Regulus clenched his teeth and clamped a hand over his left forearm. Sirius saw this and his eyes widened in alarm. "Sirius, please!" Regulus said. Sirius shook his head, staring at his brother's arm.

"No." He said, before sprinting out. Regulus screamed in anguish. Kreacher hurried forward with the robes and the mask, and Regulus donned them before apparating to his Lord's side.


	2. Kreacher's Assistance

**Kreacher's Assistance**

Regulus kneeled and kissed Voldemort's robes.

"Master, you needed me?" He asked. Voldemort looked at him coldly.

"Bella informs me that it was your first kill?" Voldemort hissed silkily. His snake, Nagini, uncoiled herself and rose to an impressive height. Regulus glanced at Bellatrix, who was smiling ferally at him. He clenched his hands into fists.

"Yes, milord." He forced out.

"I confess I am deeply disappointed." Voldemort said. "However, you may redeem yourself…" He paused. "I will need the assistance of your elf. A trusted elf." Voldemort said. Regulus bowed.

"As you wish, milord. I will go and get him right now." He said quietly.

"Return swiftly." Voldemort demanded. Regulus kept bowing his way out of the room. He ran to the apparition point and went back to Grimmauld Place. He called Kreacher.

"Master called?" Kreacher popped in, bowing.

"Kreacher, listen to me." Regulus said. Kreacher looked up solemnly. "The Dark Lord is asking for your assistance, and I have a very bad feeling about this. Obey his orders, but should anything happen, come back to me." Regulus said firmly. Kreacher bowed.

"Kreacher will do as Master told Kreacher to do." He croaked. Regulus took Kreacher's hand and they Apparated to the Dark Lord's mansion. Regulus hurried to Voldemort's study and he knocked on the door.

"Enter." A high and cold voice said. Regulus bowed and Kreacher did the same as he opened the door. They shuffled in.

"Milord, here is the elf you required." Regulus said, hiding his unease.

"Very well. You may go, Regulus." Voldemort said. Regulus glanced at Kreacher and retreated out and returned to Grimmauld Place.

"Now, elf, I need to hide a very important object. You will be helping me." Voldemort said coldly. Kreacher bowed.

"Yes, Dark Lord." He said. Voldemort held out a boot for Kreacher to take, and the elf did so. Moments later they were swept away.

They landed in a very dark cave, and Voldemort lit up the place with a Lumos. Voldemort opened the stone door in the wall and muttered an incantation. The stone glowed blood red. Kreacher hurried in with Voldemort just as the stone slammed shut again. Kreacher dared to look up, and he saw Voldemort smirking sadistically. Shivers went down Kreacher's spine. Voldemort waved his wand around in complicated motions and spoke spells after spells. He pointed his wand at the water's surface, and an eerie green boat materialized. Voldemort stepped on carefully. Kreacher hopped in. The boat started to move, and soon they reached a small crystal island in the middle of the dark lake. Voldemort stepped out and took out a golden locket. Kreacher shuddered when he felt the repulsive evilness emanating from the locket. Somehow the locket felt like the Dark Lord, but still different…

Voldemort dropped the locket in a basin, and he fashioned a crystal goblet with a piece of crystal from the island. Then Kreacher watched as Voldemort took out a vial of black potion and poured it over the locket. Voldemort then jabbed his wand at the basin and muttered a few choice words. A bubbling noise was heard. Then Voldemort waved his wand again, expression satisfied. A silver gleam flashed over the basin before it disappeared.

"Elf, touch the surface of the basin." Voldemort demanded. Kreacher scrambled to reach the basin and attempted to touch the potion, but was repelled by a force. Voldemort nodded in satisfaction.

"Now, pick up the goblet and scoop up the potion." Voldemort demanded. Kreacher did so, and was surprised when the goblet easily scooped up some of the potion. Voldemort smirked. "Now drink it." He commanded. Kreacher tipped the goblet and drank the potion. He began to wheeze. He could dimly hear Voldemort's voice saying something. Impero? Impartial? Ilama? Then everything became blissfully blank, and the only thing he could hear was _drink more of the potion, elf_. So he obeyed happily.

When the last of the potion was gone, the blissful feeling went away as well. Voldemort and the boat were moving away, the Dark Lord not even looking back once. Kreacher craved water, and saw that the basin was slowly refilling. He reached out towards it, but was repelled. He was too weak to pick up the goblet again, and so he crawled towards the edge of the island. He reached the water and gulped it in eagerly. Suddenly, decaying hands reached out to him, dragging him into the water.

The shock of the water, it's icyness, was what woke Kreacher up. He panicked as the Inferi dragged him deeper and deeper into the water.

_Kreacher…should anything happen…come back to me._

Kreacher started to struggle once more, but it was futile.

_Come back to me._

Kreacher's struggles became more violent, and so did the Inferi. Their iron-like grips were unrelenting, and Kreacher felt himself slowly drift into unconsciousness.

_Come back to me._

Mustering the last ounce of strength he had, Kreacher apparated, and when he reached Grimmauld Place, he saw a very shocked Regulus before everything went dark.


	3. Suspicions and Clues

**Suspicions and Clues**

Regulus jumped when he heard the telltale crack of Apparition, and his jaw dropped at seeing a bedraggled and wet Kreacher pop into the room. The elf fainted and Regulus immediately went to work, feeding potions to the elf and reviving it.

"Kreacher! What happened?" Regulus asked urgently. Kreacher sat up.

"Master…" Kreacher squeaked. "Master, Kreacher came back. Kreacher came back for Master." Kreacher croaked, tears gathering at the edges of his eyes. Regulus was confused.

"Tell me what happened, Kreacher." Regulus said. Kreacher began to tell his tale and his narrow escape, and Regulus furrowed his eyebrows when the story was finished.

"And I Apparated back to Master." Kreacher finished sombrely. Regulus sighed.

"Thanks, Kreacher." He said kindly. "You may go and rest."

"Master is too kind!" Kreacher bowed so low that he was in danger of falling on his head. Then he popped away. Regulus sat down at his desk. This was troubling. Whatever Voldemort had hidden, it required a blood sacrifice, a ghostly boat, Inferi, and the Drink of Despair to guard it. From what Kreacher gathered, it was an ancient locket reeking of darkness. Regulus decided he would check up all the famous lockets that were made. He made his way to the Library and searched the shelves.

_Magical Artefacts_

He took the book down and searched the table of contents.

_The Deathly Hallows:_

_The Cloak of Invisibility_

_The Resurrection Stone_

_The Elder Wand_

_The Sorting Hat_

_Godric Gryffindor's sword_

_Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem_

_Helga Hufflepuff's cup_

_Salazar Slytherin's locket_

He paused. Salazar Slytherin…wasn't the Dark Lord always going on about how he was the rightful heir to Slytherin? A locket…yes, this would be it.

Regulus flipped to the page of the locket.

"Kreacher!" He called. The elf popped in.

"Master called?"

"Yes. Does this look like the locket the Dark Lord held?" Regulus asked. Kreacher studied the locket carefully.

"Kreacher is not sure, but Kreacher thinks that the locket the Dark Lord had and the locket on the book are the same." Kreacher bowed.

"Thank you Kreacher." Regulus said gratefully. "So…the locket of Slytherin…what was he doing, hiding it like that?" He muttered to himself. Kreacher popped out again, seeing that he wasn't needed. Regulus frowned and looked up. He sighed. "Kreacher!" He called. Poor Kreacher popped back again.

"Master called?" He asked again. Regulus smiled.

"Kreacher, can you explain how the locket felt? Down to the last detail, please." Regulus said. Kreacher hesitated.

"The locket felt like the Dark Lord." Kreacher said. Regulus nodded.

"Go on." He said, intrigued. "Did it feel like the Dark Lord or _part_ of the Dark Lord? Did it feel like the Dark Lord's _soul_?" He asked agitatedly. _Please tell me it isn't true…_

"Yes, Master!" Kreacher's eyes widened. "That's exactly what it felt like! It felt like the Dark Lord's soul. It just felt the same, and Kreacher thought there were two Dark Lords for a moment." Kreacher said. Regulus nodded absently. _It can't be…_

"Thank you Kreacher. You may go." He said. Kreacher cracked away, and this time he didn't return. Regulus punched a bookshelf angrily. He looked at the books and went to the part with the darkest books on magic. He scanned the shelves and found a few books on soul magic. _Thank the heavens that the Black Library is so extensive._

He pulled a book called _Magick Moste Evile_ and flipped to the 'H' part of the book. He had only come across this term once, and that was in the Restricted Section of the library. He had approached Professor Slughorn about it, and had been forcefully ejected from Slughorn's office. Naturally that made him even more curious and suspicious, but he couldn't check out the book, obviously, so his curiosity wasn't sated…until now.

"Horcruxes…" He breathed. "Damn it!" He cursed. "Useless book." He put it back on the shelf. Then he paused.

"Hmm…" He murmured. "I'll just have to ask the Dark Lord, then."

Regulus knocked on Voldemort's door.

"Enter."

Regulus opened the door and bowed, closing it behind him.

"Milord." He said.

"Regulus. What is it?" Voldemort asked.

"You see, milord, I was searching up more on the Avada Kedavra, and what is required to make the spell more successful and stronger, when I came across a term that I was unfamiliar with." Regulus said respectfully.

"Yes?" The Dark Lord asked.

"The book—" Regulus held up _The Unforgivable Curses_ and opened it up to a page. "It says that killing someone in cold blood with the killing curse can help make Horcruxes. I was wondering what Horcruxes were." Regulus kept bowing, not looking Voldemort in the eyes.

"Where did you get that book?" Voldemort asked, instead of answering Regulus' question.

"I found it, milord." Regulus lied through his teeth. He found it, yes, in the family Library, which Voldemort _cannot_ be allowed to access. Thank god he had made a copy, as Voldemort plucked it from his hand.

"Very interesting…very well. I will keep this book in exchange for the answers to your question." Voldemort said. Regulus bowed deeper, keeping silent.

"Horcruxes are containers of one's soul. One splits their soul and places the part of the soul inside the Horcrux. This is the key to immortality. A cold-blooded murder makes one's soul unstable, therefore one can rip it apart after the murder, and make a Horcrux. You must not tell anyone else of this, understand?" Voldemort said. Regulus nodded, leaping with joy inside.

"I am honoured to be hearing of such information, my lord." Regulus said instead.

"Very well. You may leave." Voldemort said carelessly. Regulus bowed again and made his way out. He went back to Grimmauld Place and tore his room apart searching for a locket. He found one that's similar to Slytherin's locket. He took a piece of parchment and a quill and quickly scribbled his message down, signing it with his initials. He knew that the outcome of his mission will be grim, and there's a ninety-nine point nine nine chance that he'll die. He inserted the note into the locket.

"Kreacher!" He called, taking his wand and emptying his pockets of any valuables. A few Galleons and a silver necklace fell out. Regulus' breath hitched when he saw what it was.

"_Happy eleventh birthday Reggie!" Sirius said happily. He handed Regulus a small package. Regulus tore it open eagerly and found a delicate silver necklace with the sign of Gemini hanging from it. He gasped._

"_It's so pretty, Sirius!" He whispered. Sirius grinned and took out his own necklace, which was a replica._

"_This is for us. Brothers forever." Sirius said, placing his hand on Regulus' own one and squeezing it. Regulus put the necklace on eagerly._

"_Brothers forever." He repeated, hugging his older brother, who laughed and hugged him back._

Regulus had tears in his eyes. Kreacher popped in once again.

"Master? What's wrong, Master?" Kreacher asked.

"Kreacher…" Regulus said thickly. "Keep this necklace safe, will you?" He handed the gift from Sirius to Kreacher, who nodded curiously.

"What is Master planning?" Kreacher asked. Regulus shook his head.

"Just follow me. Kreacher, you _must_ obey me. If I tell you to go, then you must go. I trust you, Kreacher. Don't betray my trust." Regulus said seriously. Kreacher's eyes widened and he nodded.

"Yes Master, I swear to obey." Kreacher said.

"Very well." Regulus said. "Put the necklace somewhere safe." He said. Kreacher hastened to do so, returning in a few moments. "You must NOT tell _anyone_ of what is going to happen next, alright?" He said. Kreacher nodded. "Now take me to the place the Dark Lord too you to." He said sternly. Kreacher gasped, but couldn't disobey a direct order.

"As you wish, Master." He said. With a crack, they were gone again.


	4. Regulus' Sacrifice

**Regulus' Sacrifice**

They landed in the damp cave again. Kreacher shivered and Regulus examined the area.

"Kreacher, where is the entrance?" He asked. Kreacher pointed to a large slab of smooth rock. Regulus examined it. "This is the blood ward, no?" He asked.

"Yes Master." Kreacher said. Regulus cut his palm with a simple Difindo and smeared the blood across the rock, which rumbled open. They entered, and the rock closed behind them. Regulus healed himself.

"Lumos Maxima!" He said into the darkness. The ball of light floated in front of Regulus as he made his way to the water's edge.

"Kreacher, how do we get across?" Regulus asked, kneeling down to peer at the water.

"Master must reach for a boat. There are magical chains in the air. Kreacher knows where they are." Kreacher pointed at a seemingly empty part of the air. Regulus' grey eyes narrowed and he muttered a few spells. Nodding to himself, he grasped an invisible chain. There was a faint ripple in the water as a ghostly green boat surfaced. Regulus stepped on, careful not to touch the water. Kreacher hopped on again, with apprehension. The boat made its way to the island. Regulus got off carefully and Kreacher followed suit.

"Listen, Kreacher. I will drink the potion, and I will be in no state to do anything after it happens. If I stop drinking it, _force_ me to, do you understand?" Regulus said fiercely. Kreacher trembled but had to obey. "Once the potion is all gone, replace the locket in there with this." He handed Kreacher the fake locket. "Do you promise to obey?" He asked. Kreacher nodded reluctantly. "Now, Kreacher, once you switched the lockets, I want you to leave _without_ me and find a way to destroy the locket. Otherwise I would die in vain. You must leave _without me_." Regulus said forcefully. Kreacher whimpered, but nodded. "Good. And don't do anything I tell you to do after I start drinking the potion, okay?" Regulus asked. Kreacher nodded. Regulus relaxed and began the process of drinking the potion. He collapsed after the first gulp. Kreacher, with trembling hands, kept feeding Regulus the potion, tears running down his wrinkled cheeks.

"No…please…no…don't leave!" Regulus moaned. "Don't leave me! Come back!" Regulus said anguishedly. Kreacher just kept giving the potion. "Water…water…" Regulus began to rasp. Kreacher gritted his teeth but didn't get water, lest he attracted the Inferi's attention. Regulus began to crawl towards the water, but Kreacher forced him back with his elf magic. "Kreacher, please…I need water…get me water…" Regulus pleaded in a moment of lucidity. Kreacher nearly obeyed when he remember his Master's previous order.

_And don't do anything I tell you to do after I start drinking the potion, okay?_

So Kreacher gave the last bit of the potion to Regulus and went to switch the lockets. By the time he finished switching it, Regulus had already finished his frenzied rush to the water, and was drinking from it. Kreacher watched, petrified, as the Inferi began to drag his Master into the depths of the cold lake.

_I want you to leave __**without**__ me…_

Kreacher let out a wail.

…_and find a way to destroy the locket. Otherwise I would die in vain._

Kreacher let out another despaired shriek.

"Goodbye Master Regulus!" He bawled before disapparating away.

Regulus didn't even feel it as he was dragged downwards into the bottom of the water. Memories flashed before his eyes.

"_You can't catch me!" Sirius teased the young three year old. Regulus sped up, but Sirius was always faster than him._

"_Not fair!" Regulus huffed. Sirius laughed and ran even further. Regulus began to lose hope that he'll ever catch up to his older brother when a burst of speed hit him and he somehow crashed into his brother, who yelped. They both tumbled to a stop, in a dirty heap of tangled limbs._

"_That was accidental magic! I'm sure of it! Reggie, I'm so proud of you!" Sirius said, righting them both and giving Regulus a hug that smelled like dirt, grass, and sweat, but it was the best hug that Regulus had ever received._

* * *

><p><em>Regulus was seven. He was flying on Sirius' broom, his brother running on the grass underneath him. He laughed in delight, but lost control of the broom all of a sudden. His yells of joy became screams of fear. The broom tilted downwards and sped toward the ground at a breakneck speed. Sirius shouted something and sprinted at the point where Regulus was going to hit the ground. <em>

_Sirius jumped at the last moment and wrestled Regulus off the broom, which crashed headfirst into the ground, spraying dirt everywhere. Sirius was groaning on the ground with Regulus on top of him, still shaking with fear._

"_You alright?" Sirius asked. Regulus just clung onto Sirius, eyes wide and rapidly filling with tears. Sirius sighed and helped Regulus up, and together, they made their way back to the house._

"_Don't worry, Reggie. You're not hurt, are you?" Sirius asked, soothing his younger brother. Regulus shook his head. Sirius' face broke into a relieved grin. "Then we'll just be going back. Come on, a nice long shower and some of Kreacher's chocolate chip cookies should do the trick." Sirius comforted. Regulus began to relax as Sirius stroked the boy's back. A goofy grin was spreading across Regulus' face by now. _

_The expressions on their parents' faces when they entered were priceless._

* * *

><p>"<em>Aww look, little Reggie is hurt." Bella jeered.<em>

"_Lay off, Bella!" Sirius said, defending Regulus. Then he turned to his brother, who had angry red boils all over his arms. Sirius glared at the wand in Bellatrix's hand and led Regulus away._

"_Weak!" Bellatrix yelled after them. "You're pathetic, Regulus! And you too, Gryffindork!" She called. Sirius ignored her and steered Regulus to the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomphrey patched Regulus up nicely._

"_Come on, I have a few Chocolate Frogs. Maybe you'll get Agrippa's card!" Sirius said. Regulus smiled. It was so good to have an older brother to protect you._

Regulus was jarred out of his memories when he hit the hard bottom of the lake. He was shaken out of his potion-induced state as well, and he looked around wildly before remembering what had happened. He looked up with shimmering grey eyes.

"Goodbye…Sirius…" He whispered, but all that came out were bubbles. Regulus died with a smile on his face, hoping that his brother would one day understand and forgive him.

_Fin_


End file.
